Bucket, Bucket, Who's Got The.......

We've all heard it, the clothes make the man....

And we're talkin a construction jobsite here. I try to dress at least acceptable on the jobsite. I usually wear a pair of cargo pants and a nice button down shirt. I try not to wear tee shirts, or sweats, I just think that's unprofessional....at least that's what my Dad always said. He sure loved his clothes! There were times that he would actually go shopping during the day for clothes and come back with some really nice skins.

This post is about the best suede jacket in the whole world.......Dad's words, although I admit it was a nice jacket until that chilly fall day..................


It was in fact a chilly windy day, and we were working on a brick front of a new home in New Brunswick

New Jersey. That in itself wasn't so bad, what made the situation ten times worse is that we were in the shade for a good part of the day, and the wind ripped around the corner of the house right into our faces. My Dad wasn't in a very good mood that day, in fact nobody was. It's kinda hard to keep a smile on your face when your freezing your ass off, and your boss (Dad) is in such a bad mood you just wish him away!

He complained about everything this day, and nothing we did could make him happy. 

We were moving too slow, or our work was sloppy, or we didn't have enough buckets or well..... you get the idea, nobody wanted him there!

Speaking of buckets, one of his pet peeves was having enough buckets around. Buckets are an invaluable item in the construction industry, and especially in the mason field. The best thing is you could get them for FREE!!. If you caught a house just at the right time, right after the spacklers, you just hit the jackpot.....the mother load! During lean times, we would dumpster dive and most of the time we would come up with about a half dozen buckets. Not a bad haul!

This always made my Dad happy (and eventually me too). It almost felt like stealing, and when I would go into the recently spackeled house, the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up, and I would stealth-fully grab a bunch and rush out of the house. Now that's funny because they were up for grabs, kinda like a first come first serve thing, but no matter how many times I was sent on the bucket mission.....I would get that rush......like a spy taking the crown jewels from the bad guys, and returning them to the King.....(Dad).

There were protocols to follow in bucket retrieval  

  

The first and most important was if you found a lone bucket just sitting alone in the corner of the room, you

Approach with Caution!

were to approach it with caution. If there was a cover on it, you were to be even more careful and cautious!
As you approached the lidded bucket, you should first give it a light kick. If the cover came off, you were to step back three steps, to avoid any undesirable liquids that may be in there and splash on you. If the lid did not come off, you were to carefully lift said bucket, give it a swirl and while you did this you were to observe any solids through the plastic. Most of the time that worked.......sometimes it did not. But even more of the time the bucket just has a bit of left over Spackle and water in it and just needed to be cleaned out. 

Getting back to the job at hand.....we were wishing my Dad away because he was being really nasty all morning. But as noon approached, he announced that he hated his stupid coat that had a rip on the inside and had lost some of it's warming capabilities and he was going to the store to buy a new coat. We all cheered!!!!....as the truck turned the corner.

Hours went by, it got colder but it was somehow more pleasant.

Yeah....that's what it looked like!

Then around three thirty, here came the truck a rollin down the road. It was Dad, and although he was sporting a brand new (pretty nice) tan suede jacket with a fur collar, he seemed to still have retained his bad mood. The first thing he yells when he gets out of the truck was......

"Were you guys sleeping when I was gone!? I'm losing my shirt here!!"

We were wishing him away again!

"Jesus Christ why aren't there any buckets around!!??? It's so damn easy to get them and you guys are working with three dilapidated buckets!"

We tried to explain to him that we looked the day before but were unsuccessful.

"Oh Yeah?! I'll show you guys! I bet I can find at least a dozen!"

And with that he jumped into his truck and sped down the road in a dirt haze.....we again cheered!

I don't know how he did it, but he did in fact come back with about a dozen buckets.....but the majority of them were the forbidden ones .....with covers! He jumped out of the truck and grabbed the buckets, and like a wild man was throwing them and saying things like..." I told you" and " That's because you guys don't know how to look" and See?! see?! I found at least a dozen!!....

The wind was picking up a bit, and we were getting even colder as the day was drawing to a close, which we were all extremely happy about. We started cleaning up and getting ready to leave and no one was really paying any attention to my Dad who was NOT following protocol.........when..........

"SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!" He screamed

 He hit the mother load for sure! As he ripped off the cover from this one particular bucket he was

Okay, not my Dad....but that's what he looked like!

generously sprayed with.....let's just say someone didn't make it to the port a john. His brand new suede jacket was completely covered with this foul smelling combination of Human waste. I'm pretty sure we were all laughing at this point.....all except my Dad, who is very bad with nasty odors and who was gagging profusely as he ripped off his most beautiful brand new suede jacket and threw it across the street! He now had freckles, and Dad never had freckles before...if you know what I mean.

He drove home alone that day....and about a month after that because that's how long it took to finally get that nasty smell out of the truck.
Oh yeah...he never bought a suede jacket again!

 

TIP OF THE DAY:

How to turn an ordinary 5 gallon bucket into a planter!

• Get yourself a nice 5 gallon bucket.
• If you don't have one, you can get one at your local home improvement center for about four dollars.
• Pick up some spray paint while your at the store.

• 

  Not so creative, but you get the idea!

• Call your artistic friend or just paint the bucket yourself.
• Drill about ten 3/8" holes in the bottom of the bucket (after it dries)
• Then put about 2" loose gravel on the bottom of the bucket, should be at least 3/4" stone.
• Fill it halfway with potting soil.
• Put your really nice plant in there...I have a couple of fig trees.
• Fill up the bucket the rest of the way......and enjoy!
• You just saved yourself about thirty dollars for an overpriced plastic planter!
• Oh yeah, if you do have a bucket just laying around, and it's covered.......

REMEMBER PROTOCOL!!

See you next time......from beyond.........