I'm a Lumberjack and I'm okay.....NOT!

Through the years I've learned so many things. 

I guess I was born with a gift. I'm the kind of person that if I put my mind to it, and I try really hard, I can do anything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a self absorbed person.....I'm just lucky like that. If I see something that interests me....I watch closely, and I can do it. Other things I had to research, but give it to me and I'll do it! One of my dreams, as a contractor was to eventually build s home.....so.....


About eight years ago I was building a new "spec" home in Phillipsburg, NJ. It was a nice four bedroom three bath 2,500 square foot home. My men and I did a good majority of the work and that being the case there are a few good stories around the construction of this home.

This is the actual lot, after the trees were cut down!

One short story was before I started building the home, I had to clear the lot. I could have hired a company to do this, but why should I? I had a pretty big crew at the time, and in the long run I would save money if we cleared the lot ourselves. We worked at cutting down trees for about two days and got about a third of the lot cleared.


I was also working on a housing development at the time, so when I could get away, we went to the lot. This one day I had to be there to meet the excavator, and because we were busy on the other job I went there by myself. I got to the site, and waited for the excavator, who was supposed to be there, but he wasn't. After waiting about twenty minutes I finally got a call from him that he was a little behind schedule and he would be there in about an hour.

It was a nice clear day.....a little windy, but still a beautiful clear summer day.

 

While I was walking the lot, I began thinking that I could cut down a few trees to kill some time. I was confident in cutting these trees, because I had it down to a science. I knew exactly where to cut the tree to make it fall pretty much exactly where I wanted. So....I took out the chain saw and made sure that it was oiled up and the chain was tight. I picked my target....it was a nice 40 - 50 foot tree with a trunk base

I'm gonna cut those darn trees down!

around two feet.

I started the chain saw, and like a true lumberjack I started my cut. I cut my first angle like cutting through butter with a warm knife. I cut the other angle to make an wedged slice with ease. I went to the other side to cut the back of the notch, and ideally the tree was supposed to fall in the direction of the wedge. I started cutting.......and just as the tree was becoming unstable....the wind picked up.....a lot!


The tree started swaying and as it swayed it made a loud cracking noise. But it was not swaying in the direction that was planned. It would sway in the direction of the wedge....and then it swayed in the opposite (wrong) direction a little further. That wouldn't be so bad but the fact that there was a house in the way, well that just wasn't going to end well.


So in a rush, I ran to my truck to get a rope, but to my dismay one of my men had taken it out and never returned it! All the time the wind was still blowing pretty hard and the tree would sway just a little more each time it swayed. I was now in a panic! What should I do?? There was a  hardware store about five minutes away but I was so very hesitant to leave this swaying tree. I envisioned that when I got back the tree would have sliced a hole in that house next door.


One quick note about the house next door. I never met the Owners of the house, but I heard from the neighbor across the street that they were the "biggest a** holes" (his words) and they complained about everything and everyone. They would call the police for the smallest things and they were just not nice people. So now you realize why I was in such a panic. I didn't want to introduce myself by knocking a hole through the side of their house with a tree!

I had to make a decision....

 

I just had no choice but to put my destiny in the hands of the forces (wind) that be. I jumped into my truck, and made a mad dash for the hardware store. Being in farm country, the drive there wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. I had to wait at least ten minutes for a farmer to cross his herd of cows across the street to another field, which was the first time this happened to me in the two dozen times I was at the lot.


After what seemed like an eternity, I made it to the hardware store, and purchased a nice thick rope, and raced back to the lot, expecting to see chaos in the making. But much to my surprise and extreme relief, the tree was still upright, swaying profusely, but upright. I grabbed the rope, ran into the field, while working a plan in my head to avoid what seemed to be the inevitable. I hurriedly wrapped the rope around the tree about four foot off the ground and wrapped the other end around another nearby tree. As much as I thought that I was a genius...and was about to mentally pat myself on the back...the wind continued its assault on this tree. Because of the height of the tree, the rope was actually not doing anything to stop it from swaying in the wrong direction.


Maybe I could climb it and place the rope in a much higher spot as that, I was sure, would secure it. Unfortunately for me there was no way humanly possible to get up there. You see these trees had no lower branches, so there was no way to climb it. But during all of this the tree would sway just a little further each time, and I actually was shocked that it hadn't fallen yet........still in panic mode!!

For illustration purposes only...not the real house!

I had, what I thought was a brilliant solution! I ran to my truck and drove it onto the lot. I backed up to the tree, and kept it about fifteen feet away. I ran out , grabbed the rope which was pulling me as the tree swayed, and tied it to the hitch on my truck. This I swear was PERFECT timing because as I got back in my truck, and started it the tree swayed it's last sway, and sure enough was headed the wrong way....towards the house!


I popped the truck in gear, and gunned it as the tree was falling. I wasn't watching but the noise was a dead giveaway! SCRATCHHHHHHH.........


I happened to have my guardian angel with me that day because as much as it DID hit the house, it was just the upper branches that scraped along the siding and caused absolutely no damage. The truck pulled it away about five feet... JUST ENOUGH! The woman who lived there came running out yelling..

."Did you just hit my house with that tree!!??" I explained...."Well....yes, but not really?"


I explained to her what had happened, and after examining her house, she got a kick out of it, and became an amazing person to build a house next to!


The excavator never did show up ( and I didn't hire him) but that was okay because now I had time to rush to the local Wal-Mart to purchase a clean pair of underwear!
   

 TIP OF THE DAY:

How to trim your tree.....safely!

With Spring here, let's trim down those overgrown trees once and for all! The smaller branches can be cut either with a branch pruner or branch saw. But the bigger ones on the bigger trees will need more power. I found a really nice electric portable extension chain saw. The Remington Branch Wizard Electric Pruning Saw is a perfect gardening tool that lets you prune even hard branches with ease. You can comfortably reach and trim tall brushwoods up to a height of 12 feet. It is powered by a 6.0 Amp electric motor that is powerful enough to handle all your trimming jobs. The electric pruning saw has a narrow nose bar and low kickback chain that prevents kickback before it starts. Plus, it comes with a 6" bar length for easy trimming and cutting applications.

For the real big branches......Call a Lumberjack!

 

See you next time......from beyond.........