Bucket, Bucket, Who's Got The.......

We've all heard it, the clothes make the man....

And we're talkin a construction jobsite here. I try to dress at least acceptable on the jobsite. I usually wear a pair of cargo pants and a nice button down shirt. I try not to wear tee shirts, or sweats, I just think that's unprofessional....at least that's what my Dad always said. He sure loved his clothes! There were times that he would actually go shopping during the day for clothes and come back with some really nice skins.

This post is about the best suede jacket in the whole world.......Dad's words, although I admit it was a nice jacket until that chilly fall day..................


It was in fact a chilly windy day, and we were working on a brick front of a new home in New Brunswick

New Jersey. That in itself wasn't so bad, what made the situation ten times worse is that we were in the shade for a good part of the day, and the wind ripped around the corner of the house right into our faces. My Dad wasn't in a very good mood that day, in fact nobody was. It's kinda hard to keep a smile on your face when your freezing your ass off, and your boss (Dad) is in such a bad mood you just wish him away!

He complained about everything this day, and nothing we did could make him happy. 

We were moving too slow, or our work was sloppy, or we didn't have enough buckets or well..... you get the idea, nobody wanted him there!

Speaking of buckets, one of his pet peeves was having enough buckets around. Buckets are an invaluable item in the construction industry, and especially in the mason field. The best thing is you could get them for FREE!!. If you caught a house just at the right time, right after the spacklers, you just hit the jackpot.....the mother load! During lean times, we would dumpster dive and most of the time we would come up with about a half dozen buckets. Not a bad haul!

This always made my Dad happy (and eventually me too). It almost felt like stealing, and when I would go into the recently spackeled house, the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up, and I would stealth-fully grab a bunch and rush out of the house. Now that's funny because they were up for grabs, kinda like a first come first serve thing, but no matter how many times I was sent on the bucket mission.....I would get that rush......like a spy taking the crown jewels from the bad guys, and returning them to the King.....(Dad).

There were protocols to follow in bucket retrieval  

  

The first and most important was if you found a lone bucket just sitting alone in the corner of the room, you

Approach with Caution!

were to approach it with caution. If there was a cover on it, you were to be even more careful and cautious!
As you approached the lidded bucket, you should first give it a light kick. If the cover came off, you were to step back three steps, to avoid any undesirable liquids that may be in there and splash on you. If the lid did not come off, you were to carefully lift said bucket, give it a swirl and while you did this you were to observe any solids through the plastic. Most of the time that worked.......sometimes it did not. But even more of the time the bucket just has a bit of left over Spackle and water in it and just needed to be cleaned out. 

Getting back to the job at hand.....we were wishing my Dad away because he was being really nasty all morning. But as noon approached, he announced that he hated his stupid coat that had a rip on the inside and had lost some of it's warming capabilities and he was going to the store to buy a new coat. We all cheered!!!!....as the truck turned the corner.

Hours went by, it got colder but it was somehow more pleasant.

Yeah....that's what it looked like!

Then around three thirty, here came the truck a rollin down the road. It was Dad, and although he was sporting a brand new (pretty nice) tan suede jacket with a fur collar, he seemed to still have retained his bad mood. The first thing he yells when he gets out of the truck was......

"Were you guys sleeping when I was gone!? I'm losing my shirt here!!"

We were wishing him away again!

"Jesus Christ why aren't there any buckets around!!??? It's so damn easy to get them and you guys are working with three dilapidated buckets!"

We tried to explain to him that we looked the day before but were unsuccessful.

"Oh Yeah?! I'll show you guys! I bet I can find at least a dozen!"

And with that he jumped into his truck and sped down the road in a dirt haze.....we again cheered!

I don't know how he did it, but he did in fact come back with about a dozen buckets.....but the majority of them were the forbidden ones .....with covers! He jumped out of the truck and grabbed the buckets, and like a wild man was throwing them and saying things like..." I told you" and " That's because you guys don't know how to look" and See?! see?! I found at least a dozen!!....

The wind was picking up a bit, and we were getting even colder as the day was drawing to a close, which we were all extremely happy about. We started cleaning up and getting ready to leave and no one was really paying any attention to my Dad who was NOT following protocol.........when..........

"SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!" He screamed

 He hit the mother load for sure! As he ripped off the cover from this one particular bucket he was

Okay, not my Dad....but that's what he looked like!

generously sprayed with.....let's just say someone didn't make it to the port a john. His brand new suede jacket was completely covered with this foul smelling combination of Human waste. I'm pretty sure we were all laughing at this point.....all except my Dad, who is very bad with nasty odors and who was gagging profusely as he ripped off his most beautiful brand new suede jacket and threw it across the street! He now had freckles, and Dad never had freckles before...if you know what I mean.

He drove home alone that day....and about a month after that because that's how long it took to finally get that nasty smell out of the truck.
Oh yeah...he never bought a suede jacket again!

 

TIP OF THE DAY:

How to turn an ordinary 5 gallon bucket into a planter!

• Get yourself a nice 5 gallon bucket.
• If you don't have one, you can get one at your local home improvement center for about four dollars.
• Pick up some spray paint while your at the store.

• 

  Not so creative, but you get the idea!

• Call your artistic friend or just paint the bucket yourself.
• Drill about ten 3/8" holes in the bottom of the bucket (after it dries)
• Then put about 2" loose gravel on the bottom of the bucket, should be at least 3/4" stone.
• Fill it halfway with potting soil.
• Put your really nice plant in there...I have a couple of fig trees.
• Fill up the bucket the rest of the way......and enjoy!
• You just saved yourself about thirty dollars for an overpriced plastic planter!
• Oh yeah, if you do have a bucket just laying around, and it's covered.......

REMEMBER PROTOCOL!!

See you next time......from beyond.........

She's gonna blow Captain!

To survive this economic debacle, we must "think outside of the box"

I call it an economical debacle because I've lived through two recessions, and as bad as they were, neither one was as long and as persistent as this recession. I have witnessed too many sad things in the last six years. I have seen friends and even some family members lose their homes, and I have seen a few of my fellow contractors go under. This economy has put some of the strongest businesses in troubles path.

Is this what's next?

In the first two years, I was hoping that this major downturn in the economy and the bursting of the housing bubble would weed out all the weak and bad contractors. It did get some of them, but sadly for a lot of people the economy is still in the tank, and it seems that there's more economic punishment ahead for us. So what can we do to survive? We need to reinvent the wheel......think outside the box......learn to diversify!

That's what I chose to do....Diversify..

Through my years in business, I tried to keep growing. Not just in the amount of men, and equipment, but in the things that I can offer. I didn't want to become that guy....you know..."jack of all trades, master of none".
But I wasn't happy just doing one thing. So I did grow in the things that I offered to my customers. Most importantly and the point of this story, I became a Dealer and Installer for a whole house water filter system and Salt Free water softener, You can see it here:

 This was the perfect add on to my business. I was not only selling these systems online to anyone in the country, but I was also selling and installing them in my local service area.......which brings me to my story........

About  two years ago I get a call at my office for a full system. The guy, Joe, left a message that he was very interested in purchasing the system but he wanted to talk to someone with some knowledge of how the system worked before he committed to our system. I called him as soon as I returned to my office.

Joe was interested in the "big" system we sell. 

The Pelican Whole House System

That was good, but when he told me that he lived in New York state, I was a bit disappointed, but I figured that I would at least sell him the system and make my commission from the sale. I try and stay within an hour of my shop, and he was about a two hour drive. He then tells me that he would be willing to pay extra for travel time, because I was highly recommended by the main company. To be honest here, I really didn't want to travel that far, and I tried to overprice the extra travel time to a point that Joe would find it too expensive and look for a local plumber to install the system.

Joe was Happy to pay the extra but before he committed, he wanted to "see" the system.

"Do you have a customer that I can go see their system?" Joe asked in his high pitched, kinda whiny voice.

"I can't give you a customers address, but I actually have the system installed in my own home and you are welcome to drive over two hours to see it" I replied.

"Okay, can I come by tomorrow?, what's your address? And if I like the system, I'll leave the deposit.....Okay?....How's that sound? " Joe screeched.

I thought it sounded weird, so I told him that I would ask my wife if that was okay with her. Which it was, and Joe made an appointment to "see" the system the following day. When I got home the following day, my wife told me that this guy Joe had stopped by and he was "very weird". He asked a bunch of questions, and when he was showed the system, he went about giving it a detailed inspection. He left the deposit, and I ordered his system.

Joe's  system arrived, and I got it all prepped and ready to go. 

Seems that I have every fitting I need!

Before I left my shop I wanted to make sure that I had everything possible for the install. I didn't want to be that far away into unknown territory, not having everything I needed for a successful installation. I left with total confidence and headed off to New York.....to Joe's house.

After a little over two hours of driving, I was pulling into Joe's driveway. It was a nicely kept two story
colonial. The grass was very neatly cut, and I could tell that Joe was a bit of a perfectionist by the way he kept his home. I respect that.

Joe greeted me at the side door, and I have to admit that I had him pegged from just our phone calls. He was a small skinny guy, and he had a nervous twitch about him. I reached out to shake his hand, and he laid his hand in mine like a princess would, and I almost thought I should kiss it instead of shake it. I followed him into the finished part of the basement and he showed me the closet that we were to install the system.

I got started right away. I turned off the main water supply, made my cuts into the system and figured out my piping. While I was doing this I heard a strange noise, so I stopped and listened. It was someone upstairs pacing back and forth right above where we were working. I thought that was very strange, but went ahead with the installation.

Every once in a while I would feel a presence and look behind me to see Joe just standing there. I didn't hear him come down, he would just "be" there and he would and ask how things were going. I assured him that all was going well. I could tell he was nervous. He seemed the kind of person who didn't like change.

We were now into the third hour of the install, and almost finished. I asked my helper to get one of the fittings out of my truck, and cut it to a certain length. When he brought it in to me, it looked like the cut was wrong. Sure enough it was! I was pretty upset because now I had to try to find a plumbing supply store to replace that fitting! I called upstairs to Joe who was pacing back and forth above our heads and asked if he knew of a plumbing supply store that was nearby. Joe came running down the stairs as if there was a fire, eyes bulging, and he started to panic and asked in a very concerned tone,

"What's wrong? Is everything okay? Oh Geez, maybe you should put everything back the way it was."

Joe...

I explained that everything was fine and I just forgot to bring a fitting. He was reluctant, but went upstairs to get me the address of the nearest plumbing supply store which was about twenty minutes away.  While he was upstairs, I told my helper to prime and glue all of the fittings up to a certain point, so when I get back all I had to do was glue in the last fitting and we'd be finished.

It took an hour and a half to get the part and get back to Joe's house.

I was not very happy at this point as I should have been heading back to my shop by now. So I went in with a new found determination to get this thing done and get out of there. My helper was in the driveway when I got there, and I confirmed that he did in fact prime and glue all of the fittings....he said yes, of course!
There wasn't much left to do at this point, I made sure to make the cut myself, as not to have any more mishaps. I primed and glued the last fitting and firmly held it in place for several seconds. Finally! I was finished, and I had my helper clean up the working area, and put away the tools.


Now I always find it nerve wracking when I'm finished with a system and ready to turn the water main back on. I found out from my licensed plumber Ken Kunich, that all plumbers secretly have that same oozy feeling in their stomachs. I told my helper to go ahead and turn the shut off valve to the open position, and in a very load voice exclaims...."Okay, here we go!"..... Which is why Joe stopped his pacing and came running into the basement to "see" the starting up of his new system.

Okay.....just a bit of an exaggeration...but close!

I looked around at the fittings like I always do to make sure of no leaks. All three of us were standing there when all of a sudden, a load bang, and an instant soaking shower!!! It was a shock to say the least! I yelled over to my helper to turn off the main shut off valve. I looked behind me to see a water soaked Joe, who was in what seemed to be a state of shock. I was SO embarrassed that this had happened, and at the same time intensely curious of how this could have happened.

"Oh Geez Dominick.....I don't want this system in my house now" whined Joe "Look it ruined my walls, and the door is soaking wet, and..."

Nervous Joe

I stopped him there..

"Listen Joe, I'm not taking anything apart. The system is in and that's that."

What had happened was my less than brilliant helper did not glue one of the fittings, although he did prime everything which was why I didn't notice. For those who are not familiar with pvc piping, the primer is purple, and the glue is clear. You will always see at least a bit of purple at all of the joints. I explained to Joe that it was human error, and sadly that happens. The good thing is that there was no damage to anything as we had dried up the area (the only damage was to my pride) and glued the fitting back on. This time I inspected EVERY joint to make sure that it was good to turn the pressure on again......it was.

Turned the water on again, and Joe was standing next to me with a plastic bag in front of his face. This time there was no exploding pipes, and the system ran proper. It was now 5 pm and I was dying to get out of there, but Joe wasn't going to let me out of there that easily. He came over with a flash light, a sock and a towel, and proceeded to SLOWLY check each and every joint in the system. that took around twenty minutes. When he was satisfied that there were no leaks, I handed him my bill and asked for a check so I could go home.

"Well I want to check all of the toilets, and sinks before I pay you"........ I have to admit, I had a bit of a "vision" with my hands around his throat.....I explained that this was completely unnecessary, but Joe was insistent, and proceeded to spend another 35 minutes checking anything that had anything to do with water.  
It's now almost 6pm, and this is when Joe tells me he can only pay me through PayPal.....WHAT THE.....! At that point I was so frustrated that I didn't care anymore and all I could think of is that it was gonna take me three hours to get home, which it did.

It took four long days for Joe to finally send me the money...... 

I guess there are a few lessons to be learned here. First is never trust an idiot. I should not have taken for granted that my helper did the right thing. I learned a valuable lesson that day and I now always double check everything. The second lesson is stay close to home......it figures that it took almost triple the time to do this job than it should have taken. And the final lesson, if Joe ever calls again.....just tell him that I moved to another country!

TIP OF THE DAY: 

How to glue PVC piping....without any explosions!

Purple primer is applied to PVC pipe fittings and pipe. When dry, PVC cement is applied and the pipe inserted into the fitting while rotating a quarter-turn.

• Apply some purple primer to the hub of the pipe fittings.
• Then apply primer to the end of the pipe.
• Let the primer dry for a minute before applying cement.
• When the primer is dry, apply some clear PVC cement to the hub of the pipe fitting.
• Then  apply glue to the end of the pipe.
• (By applying glue to the hub first, I can set the fitting down and not need to worry about the glue touching the work surface.)
• Then  push the pipe into the fitting WHILE turning the pipe about one-quarter turn.
• BUT... keep pushing the pipe into fitting. Often the pipe will "bounce" out of the fitting part way, so  keep the parts held together for a minute until the glue has a chance to harden.
• While holding the pipe and fitting together,  wipe off the excess glue

 

See you next time......from beyond.........

 

A Rip and Time.....

Okay, I couldn't resist.....Here we go again......Back in time...

And the reason for this is not that I need to relive that time in my life, it's just that since I've started writing about my working past, I can not let these stories pass away without being revealed. There was clearly some pretty incredible moments and some unbelievable shit that just begs to be told.

Back to the past!

Now you might think that the title has something to do with my mind going back in time (again) but that's just a play with words and it has everything to do what actually had happened one day......Let me tell you about it.

I was in my early twenties, full of energy and vigor. I worked because I had an apartment and bills to pay. I didn't work because I loved to work....who does? at twenty or twenty one? I did however love working outside and I enjoyed working hard. Not only was I totally in shape, and fully tanned, and my shoulder length hair was bleached by the sun, but I enjoyed learning and knowing how to do more and more with my own hands. I also enjoyed the experience of working with my Dad, and the mostly crazy people that worked on his crew.

Working with my Dad was probably the hardest job I have ever had. 

My Dad's thoughts were that because I was his son, I had to give more than anyone else at a lower wage. He treated my brothers the same way, so I know that I wasn't singled out.....it was just his old Italian ways rising to the surface. We mostly worked Monday through Friday, and believe me that was enough. But every once in a while he would (always) ask me and a couple of the others if we wanted to work a Saturday.

Never did get to see Bruce...

Most of the time I had no problem with working a Saturday.......but this one particular Saturday, I had made plans with some of my friends to spend the weekend down the shore, Seaside Heights and Asbury Park. Someone's grandmother had a shore house, and I really didn't want to miss out on this opportunity to finally hang out with my friends. Plus we had tickets to see Bruce Springsteen at the Stone Pony.


When I mentioned my plans to my Dad, he did understand, and promised that we only needed to work a half a day. He tantalized me by telling me not only would I get paid a full day, and he would pay me cash when we finished. Well, how could I resist?.......as long as it's REALLY a half day, my Dad promised it would be!

Saturday, I awoke to a perfect summer morning, 

 

I went outside to wait for my Dad to pick me up while sipping on my first cup of coffee, and I remember thinking what an amazing weekend this was gonna be as I gazed upon the cloudless sky. I couldn't wait to get to the job so I could get started on this fantastic weekend that was planned!

Just as I was thinking this, my Dad and his brand new shiny red GMC pickup truck pulled into the driveway.

Brand new Truck!!

Uncle Paul was with him and as much as I thought of all the things that could go awry, I forced myself to stay positive and happy. We said our "Good mornings" and headed off to the job.

It seems that my Dad had billed for two chimneys that weren't quite completed, and that was our mission....to finish the two chimneys. This was going to be easy, as each chimney was only a few feet from completion, and we kinda figured it should take about two hours each.

I mixed the cement in the machine that was a few houses away from the houses we were working on. My Uncle and I pulled the material up the scaffold, and my Dad got going on finishing up the first chimney. It took him exactly two hours to finish this one up, and I was even more excited to get to the next one because that one was going to take a little less work, and I would be free to go down to the shore. I stayed behind to "joint" up the brick, while my Dad and Uncle Paul went to the next house to start sending the material to the top.

I heard a yell.....then a crashing sound......

Seems that Uncle Paul didn't correctly tie off the clay flue, and the rope slipped through, and the flue came

These are clay flues...

tumbling to it's smashing death. Now this was a disappointment, because there were no extra flues, and I know my Dad.....there was no way he was not going to finish this chimney. Sure enough he told Uncle Paul to go to the Mason Supply store which was about fifteen minutes from the job. He jumped into the two week old truck, and off he went.......

One hour.....One and a half hours.....we did all we could on the chimney.......

Both my Dad and I were pissed off, but for different reasons. Mine was obviously personal, and I just knew that somehow I was getting screwed, and not getting to the shore! My Dad was worried that Uncle Paul had taken off to the "city" that he had done on occasion......

"But how could he do that??!! that son of a B....!"  Dad yelled

"Maybe we can do the porch instead" he said to me. I was not very happy at all because we were approaching the forth hour, and we should have been cleaning up to go home......But we didn't even have a truck!

It was now almost two o clock, I was a complete mess because I knew that my friends surely had left without me. I had swore that when I saw Uncle Paul I was going to Kick his ASS!! I couldn't believe that he would leave us stranded on a job site!! He completely ruined my weekend, and he was going to pay for it this time! Since this was in the days before cell phones we were really in a pickle, and being on a new home development, with very few homeowners yet, things were looking pretty bleak, just for us to get home.

My Dad went up the road to ask a homeowner to use their phone to call Mom to come and get us, and I was cleaning up the equipment. Just then, I see my Dad's truck turn the corner. In a way I was relieved, but in a much deeper way I was furiously mad. I couldn't believe that he would do this selfish thing.......but what exactly did he do? where had he gone for hours?? Oh I was gonna find out for sure!

The pickup truck pulled into the driveway, right next to where I was cleaning out the cement mixer. Uncle Paul stepped out and with a painful look on his face he exclaimed..

"Holy shit Dominick what am I gonna do, you father's gonna kill me!"

I concurred...."Yes Uncle Paul, but since he's looking for a way for us to get home and not here right now, you'll have to settle for me killing you this time!"

But he looked really worried, kinda like a five year old who knows he's gonna get a beating and runs around in circles, then pees his pants in anticipation of a beating. He exclaimed that he wasn't joking....."What am I gonna do??!!"

 So I asked, "What do you mean? what the hell are you talking about?!" I wasn't in the mood for any games, especially guessing games!

" I smashed the truck!" he sputtered out.....I looked at the truck and didn't see a scratch. I just thought he finally went over the edge..

"What are you talkin about?! I don't see anything wrong with the truck?!!" He pointed to the drivers side..."look over there....."

I expected to see a scratch, or maybe a small dent, but no.......there was a hole from the back of the cab all the way down the side of the truck to the tail light! it was huge!!

I looked at him and laughed "Well Uncle Paul, you did it again! If I were you I would start running now because when my father sees this, I think this time he's REALLY gonna kill you!" I was no longer mad at him, how could I be....he was about to be killed by my Dad.

And sure enough, just as I said that I could see my Dad coming around the corner. I knew he saw the truck because he was sprinting towards us. My Uncle's face turned a powder white by the sight of this, and  it even scared me. My Dad did not take it well.......He completely freaked out, so bad that he punched a nice size dent in the hood of the truck. I'm pretty sure that he hurt his wrist after repeatedly banging it on various (solid) objects.

The yelling was over, and the "story" was that while at the mason supply yard there was a steep hill, and somehow the truck swayed into a concrete truck that was parked on the side.....I personally didn't believe it.

Turns out I was right........years later the truth came out at a family picnic. Seems Uncle Paul went to one of his buddies houses, where they did a little partying, then decided to see how the new truck would handle some local dirt roads. Unfortunately, the poor truck wasn't built to withstand....TREES!!   

 

TIP OF THE DAY: 

CUTTING A CLAY FLUE.....

If you ever have the need to cut a clay flue....(you never know..)

SEE!! Here is a nice way to grow your herbs!

and you don't have access to a diamond blade saw or a Demo saw, I'm gonna go old school on this one. 

I was taught to cut a clay flue with sand!....Yes....that's right!

Mark out the area to be cut.

Fill the flue up solid with sand.

Pack the sand down into the flue.

 Then with a chisel and a hammer, lightly, tap around your designated mark on the flue.

Follow the mark, and lightly tap the chisel.

Work your way around the flue, it should take around three times around.

You will actually hear a hollow snap, you have cut the flue the old fashioned way.

 

See you next time......from beyond.........

The Incredible Exploding Table Saw...

Equipment is the backbone of any business....

And the better the equipment the better your project will come out.....in any business. I must admit I have purchased some pretty cheap hand tools, mostly drills and circular saws, and that's because the way my men will (accidentally) drop them off of roofs and other high places. But when it comes to the bigger tools, and equipment, is pays to get the best because in the long run not only are they more accurate, but when properly used and handled they last much longer.

Early on in business, what I've tried to do for almost every job is purchase a tool. I still do that every once in a while. I remember one time I was installing radiant heat, that required us to route sections of the 1" hardwood to fit the piping. I had to purchase a special router and bit. It's been about five years since that job, and although I thought it was better to own the tool than rent it, I have not used that router again. I'm sure that down the road I will find use for it, but for now it sits on the shelf in my shop just waiting to be a part of something wonderful.


I've worked for others that were not big fans of having good tools and equipment. All it ever did was just

This is the kind of scaffold my Dad would build!

make the work harder than it had to be, and in some cases it made it dangerous. Certain jobs need certain tools, and that's just a fact. Without the proper tools the job will almost always take longer or most of the time not be properly done.

There were times that I needed a bigger piece of equipment, but when shopping around for said equipment, I found that in most cases they were just way overpriced. I sometimes ended up purchasing the lower priced item to save a few bucks, but almost always, was sorry that I had. One story comes to mind.

I was doing an addition in Lambertville NJ.

This job required all kinds of equipment from track hoes to air compressors, to bobcats, jackhammers, and scaffold to name a few. We had just finished framing the addition and were doing the final framing details. In the kitchen of the addition was an angled wall. During the rough framing this wall was not framed to save time. So this day I decided to get all the "loose ends" done.

Here is the actual job, track hoe barely fits!

It was a beautifully sunny and warm day. I took my daughter Danielle to the job with me so that she could enter all of my receipts into my laptop for me. She used to love to come to work with me when she was little, and I kinda think she was happy to accompany me once again. So she got started in the kitchen on my makeshift desk going over the bag of receipts, and myself and one of my helpers, John, started doing the finish work 

We finished installing three pocket door frames, and started working on the angles in the kitchen. But to do this, I took a small, three foot piece of two by four and tried to get the correct angle before I cut a full two by four. The first one I cut was off by just a small degree, so I took another piece of wood, marked it and went into the other room to cut it.  I set the piece of wood on the table saw, and adjusted the the angle just a few more degrees to match my pencil mark.

I started up the table saw, and it made a whizzing scream, like it always does.....

I started the angle cut. Now just for those who have never used a table saw before, an angle cut into a solid piece of lumber puts a heavy strain on the blade and the motor. You can hear the motor struggling to keep its rpm's at the designated speed. And the blade will get a lot hotter and will sometimes cause the wood to smoke, and turn blackened. You really need to know what you're doing, and in this instance you need to back off, and drive the wood through really slowly.

John was standing to the right of the table saw watching the procedure, and I was about three quarters into the cut when BANG!!!!.....there was one of the loudest explosions I've ever heard! The noise was incredible, and I was in "shell shock" and my brain seemed to be echoing. The first thing I noticed was the fine particles of wood floating in front of my face,,,(again....in slow motion!). There was a deafening constant sound in which I had no idea of what it was.

Here is John after the explosion..hahaha

In a dream like state, I looked to my right to see my helper John laying on the floor, and then looked to my left to see my daughter running into the room. Still in a daze, I yelled to John if he was okay. He looked over his arms, and said that yes, he was fine. There was still a deafening sound, and as I looked at the table saw I noticed that the metal plate from the top of the table saw was bent up and the blade was hitting it. I yelled to John to unplug the saw, and he did.

I looked at my daughter, who was pale due to the shock of the noise, and her eyes were wide open, and she said to me in a panicked voice.

"Are you okay Dad?"

"Yeah, I think so" as I looked down at my hands to make sure that there was still ten fingers. My mind was just adjusting to the now eerily quite room.

"Oh my God.....Dad, you have a piece of wood stuck in your arm!!" yelled Danielle.

This IS my arm, but a clever reenactment!!

I looked down again and found it odd that first I hadn't noticed the large piece of wood sticking out of my forearm, when I checked to see if I had all of my fingers, and that I felt absolutely no pain. But now looking at this intruder, I grabbed it just out of sheer reaction and said.

"Well, that doesn't belong there!" and pulled it out.

SQUIRT.....SQUIRT.....SQUIRT...

By pulling this piece of wood out I had created a blood fountain, and streams of blood were shooting about five feet across the room. I immediately put my hand over the hole in my arm, and Danielle said in a panic.

"Oh my God, C'mon Dad, lets go to the truck and get the first aid kit.....keep pressure on it!!"

We all ran to my truck, and the blood was oozing through my fingers, and was dripping all over myself, and the sidewalk. John jumped into my truck to get the first aid kit, and Danielle said to get a rag to hold over the wound. John handed me a rag, but it happened to be the dirtiest rag in the truck! Danielle yelled.

"What the hell, why would you give him a rag like that? Aren't there any clean rags around?" Which was when she noticed the brand new unopened "bag O rags" right next to Johns leg.

We got the blood fountain under control, Danielle drove me to the local "Medimerge" and after the doctor went "drilling" around in my arm looking for stray splinters, she gave me a shot for the pain, which immediately kicked in.. 

We went back to the house to find John cleaning up the blood off of the walls, and floor. I went to examine the table saw and I noticed that a screw that held the metal plate in position, had sheared off ! The saw was ruined, but I was glad that no one was critically injured. Actually by this point the pain medication was kicking my butt pretty good, and both John and Danielle mentioned that I should see if I could get a prescription for this medicine, because I was so funny!

My arm eventually healed nicely, and now I was again in the market for a table saw. This time I spent the extra few hundred dollars and bought the best table saw in the store!

The moral of this story: Don't be cheap, it can be hazardous to your health!  
 

TIP OF THE DAY:

Table Saw Safety Tips:

1. The operator should check the following points before operating the table saw:

a. Operator must wear safety glasses
b. If the material chips severely, a face shield should be used in addition to safety glasses
c. Blade should be checked for tightness
d. Check the hood guard and anti-kickback devices for proper operation
e. Verify location of off switch and/or emergency power disconnect
f. If used, check to ensure the fence is set properly and tight
g. Ensure that the table is clear of materials, tools, and debris

2. All table saws must have a hood guard, splitter, and anti-kickback device installed. One or more of these devices may be removed ONLY if absolutely necessary to perform a specific cut (e.g. dado or rabbit) and only with the approval of a shop supervisor. These safety devices must be re-installed immediately after completing the cut(s).
3. The fence and miter gauge should never be used together. Use the fence for ripping and the miter gauge for cross-cutting.

A good table saw!

4. Push sticks, feather boards, hold-downs, etc. must be used whenever an operation is performed that would require the operator's hands to pass within 6 inches of the saw blade.
5. When boards over 3 feet in any dimension are cut, a helper should be used to assist in supporting the work.
6. Blade height should be set so that the top of the teeth extend no more than 1/4 inch above the wood.
7. The operator should stand to the side of the wood while it is being fed through the saw.

8. After completing work, the saw blade should be lowered below the table.
9. A two foot perimeter around the saw should be kept clear of debris and sawdust.
10. When changing the blade or servicing the saw, the power disconnect must be locked in the "off" position. For saws with a cord and plug, the saw must be unplugged. The saw must be tested after disconnecting power and before beginning service.

 

See you next time......from beyond.........

The Old Glass In The Fireplace Trick....

Here is yet another story of a fireplace......(Geez I must have built a ton of them!)

This is another experience of where I might have been burnt for my money, but I used a trick that I had learned from an old school mason that I had once worked for. His name was Joe, and he was a very patient man. I say he was patient because when I worked for him I didn't know a fraction of what I know today. He was so kind when he pointed out my mistakes and calmly go over what I had done wrong and showed me the proper way. This may seem normal to some, but my experience with my Dad was the polar opposite. My Dad was and is an inspiration to me, but man did he have a temper.

Crazy Dad!! comin at me!!

My Dad was the kind of man that if you made a mistake he would completely freak out! I remember this one time when we were putting an addition on a grocery store. I was in my early twenties and I was just out of the service. We were laying block on a scaffold that ran the entire interior of the building. It was a nice warm summer day, and I had my little radio playing, when all of a sudden I hear (and feel) the planks rumbling. I stopped what I was doing to see what the ruckus was and saw my Dad running around the corner of the
scaffold towards me. I believe I soiled my pants just at the sight of this. He came running up to where I was working, and started kicking down the entire corner that I had just built. I took a step back and just watched in amazement, and wondering what I had done. He was screaming some sort of profanities the whole time, and when he was finally finished I asked him why did he do that? Apparently I had ONE block facing the wrong way, and it could have been easily repaired......so I quit..(I believe I hold the record for quitting)

So, working with Joe was a lot less stressful and I learned so much more because of his teaching methods.

So fast forward to (somewhat) present day. I was working on a housing development and one day this guy, Jeff pulls up in his brand new Jeep Cherokee. He told me that he was building a few high end (McMansions) houses a few miles away, and that his current mason had screwed up one of the foundations so bad that when he realized it, he never came back. Since I had a pretty large crew at the time, I took on the extra work. I figured that if I personally couldn't do the work I had plenty of subcontractors that worked for me at the time, that I would have no problem taking on the extra work.

We started on that foundation that was so completely out of square that we almost had to take the entire thing down to repair it.We completed that one, and went on to build another four. Getting paid from Jeff turned out to be a challenge. Either he was never at his office or when I did get a check it was always short. I reminded Jeff that I had helped him out by taking on the work, and reminded him that when we were finished, the job was in fact perfect. Jeff swore that he would be more reliable on paying his bills. I was a  little uncomfortable about doing anymore work for him not just because of his inability to pay on time, but I also heard a few things about how he was not to be trusted.

As time went by and the houses were framed, Jeff called me back to start the brick work and the fireplaces. I made it a point to sit and talk with him to explain that I couldn't wait a month for a check. He again assured me that he would be more diligent. So, we started on the brick front for one of the houses. When Jeff received the bill, he gave me a check right then and there! I was impressed and ready to bring in another crew to start work on another large house.

As my other crew worked on the brick front, I worked on one of the two fireplaces on the same house.

 It was summer, and perfect weather for laying brick. We were moving at a pretty good pace, and we were about three quarters of the way done, and Jeff became unreliable with his payments again. I had heard rumors at the local coffee shop that he was over his head, and although this did worry me, I had to finish because if I didn't and it came down to it, I wouldn't have a leg to stand on (as I was told by my attorney).

As I was getting closer to the top, Jeff the builder started coming around the job more often. I asked him repeatedly for my payment that was now two weeks past due, and he claimed that he was having a bit of trouble with his bank, but should have that cleared up by the end of the week. That was a bit worrisome because I would be finished by the end of that week, and I was afraid that if I wasn't there and seeing Jeff once in a while, I would never get my money from him.

So, as I got to the top of the fireplace.......I had the most wonderful thought......from a guy named Joe, who

Me so smart!!

taught me this little trick. I stopped early one day, and went to a local glass shop. I purchased a 12" X 18" piece of glass for about $5.00. The next day I happily climbed up that scaffold......with my glass pane, and skillfully and carefully placed this piece of glass between the last two flues. What this will do is prevent the fireplace from drawing, and it will NOT work.

We finished the job, took down all of our scaffold, and headed to another part of town, another job.
I was really worried because I had a very heavy payroll, and Jeff owed me quite a bit of money. I was actually in a panic every day because it was like Jeff had fallen off the face of the earth! He never returned my calls, and although my messages were beginning to teeter on threats, that wasn't enough for him to do the right thing and at least call me back.

So now every chance I got, I would leave my current job, and head over to the houses that Jeff built. It took about three weeks but finally I found him there one day. It had been so long that there were people living in the house that I hadn't got paid on. He tried to ignore me at first, by talking to the excavator, as I waited for him in my truck. When he finished, he made a dash for his Jeep, got in, and began to perform a K turn. I was not going to let him get away!! I started my truck, and parked it diagonally across the street.....he wasn't going no where.

I got out and walked to his Jeep, and I'm pretty sure that I wasn't smiling, which was why (I guess) he rolled up his window! I gave him a look like REALLY??, and he opened the door and came out. He actually started the conversation with an apology of why he hasn't returned my calls.

"I'm sorry Dominick, but my wife has been very sick, and I've spent so much of my time in the hospital with her" I began to feel like a fool, and I shook his hand in a sincerely warming way. And that's when he tells me that there is a problem with the brick front that we did, and he felt that he wasn't going to pay me until it was repaired. I kinda wanted to punch him in the face at this point, but I just had to keep my cool.

We walked up to the house in question and he pointed to the top of the house..."See that brick there?...it's crooked! How are you going to repair that? And I'm not sure if I want you too because the cement will be a different color, and" That's when I cut him off....."Are you F*n kidding me? I don't see any crooked brick Jeff!  This is BS, and your just looking for a way not to pay me, and that's NOT gonna happen. There are 96 courses of brick on this house, and your telling me that ONE brick is crooked?? C'mon, you could have done better than that!"    

We went back and forth for about twenty minutes, and he finally agreed to have a check for me the following Monday. Monday came, and he did have a check, but it was for only half of what he owed me. I know for a fact that he knew I was not happy about this. He "promised" that he would have the balance in two weeks. I had no choice but to agree to his terms.

About three weeks went by, and again I'm doing "the hunt for Jeff" thing. Then one cool fall night I get a call

Smoke is supposed to go out, not in!!

from Jeff. "Hey Dominick, your fireplace that you built doesn't work! You better get your ass up there and fix it, I don't care if you have to tear the whole thing down, I want it done immediately!" I REMEMBERED..... THE GLASS!!!! Now the ball was back in my court! And I replied..

"Jeff, I know exactly whats wrong with the fireplace"

"You do"

"Yep...but I will only fix it if you bring a check with you...I can be there tomorrow, and don't forget my check, Um....IN FULL!"

He now agreed to my terms. 

The following day, was cold and windy. I brought a extension ladder with me to the house in question. Jeff was there when I pulled in and I could see him talking to the homeowner. I got out of my truck and Jeff introduced me to the homeowner, who praised my work, and told me how happy he was with everything.....except that darn fireplace that smokes up the house. He looked at me with desperate eyes..."Can you fix it?" I replied that yes, I have an idea of what the problem might be, but I needed to talk to Jeff in private.  I pulled Jeff to the side, he handed me an envelope and assured me that it was all there...

"So how are you going to fix it? I sure hope you can because I don't want these people suing me" I told him
not to worry, as I opened the envelope to glance in at the check. It was there and it was in full! So, I then put my ladder up against the house, and I called to the homeowner to make sure that no one was next to the fireplace inside. After he confirmed this, I dropped a brick into the chimney, and amazingly enough it made a much louder crash than even I expected!

Not me

I made sure that the glass was completely gone, climbed down the ladder and looked Jeff straight in the eye and said "Funny, isn't it? why did it take something like this for me to get paid?" He was still pretty stunned but he was able to mutter these words..

"That, Dominick was the most clever thing I have ever seen.....The Old Glass in The Fireplace Trick!!"  He slapped me on the back and we went inside to clean up the glass and start a fire. The draw on that chimney was so good that you could actually hear the suction from inside the room.

I never worked for Jeff again.

TIP OF THE DAY: (light)

Instincts......follow them, you're probably right!

See you next time......from beyond.........

Baby.....It's Cold Outside....

Sometimes being in the construction field can be inconvenient...

 Especially when we have to deal with and be slaves of the weather. The weather in New Jersey fluctuates from day to day and is about as inconsistent as a teenagers moods . Although we do have four beautiful seasons that we can always count on.  The summers are MY favorite, as I really don't mind the heat. Although, there were plenty of times that it was just way too hot to keep working. Most of the time our NJ. heat is coupled with humidity and that double punch is enough to make some of the toughest men fall out. And this kind of heat is not only bad for working outside in it, but it can also spell disaster for certain materials. For example, if we pour concrete on a hot day, it will dry way too fast. This is bad for a few reasons, first it makes it hard to finish it because it starts to harden and I've seen plenty of concrete that had to be ripped out due to this. The second and really important reason is that the concrete needs to cure slowly. It takes 27 days for it to completely cure. So if it's really hot outside, and it drys too fast from the heat, you can pretty much bet that you will get cracks in it. If I have no choice but to pour on a hot day, I instruct the homeowner to keep a hose handy and keep spraying the concrete, and ideally, keep it covered. That hasn't failed me yet.

The Spring and Fall are ideal to work outside, everything is in harmony (weather & materials). But this is the time when it's usually  windy here. That can also be a problem for concrete, because I personally have battled the attack of the leaves, or the mulch.

But it's the Winter that makes working in construction really unattractive........

 The good thing for me now is that I do pretty much all kinds of construction. I do additions, kitchens and baths, so if I'm lucky I can usually schedule these kinds of jobs for the winter months. But it wasn't always this convenient. Years ago I worked with my Dad, and it was all mason work period, and the work was hard but he was harder. If it was hot, we worked....if it was cold we worked (most of the time), if it rained we were soaked when we got home. He didn't worry about the weather, he just wanted the work completed. Which brings this one story to mind..........

It was a blustery snowy winter day in January.......

My alarm woke me from a really good nights sleep, I wrapped my blanket around myself and looked out my

I want to stay in bed!!

bedroom window to see that it was really nasty outside. This made me pretty happy because I figured that it being so nasty this early in the morning, that my Dad would let us stay in our warm homes. I wasn't going to call him because I really didn't want to hear the words "Well let's try and see what happens". But then I thought that hearing him say to stay home would somehow be rewarding. So, I called him.

"Hey Dad, have you seen the weather outside? it looks really bad" And as he replied, I cringed " I'm already waiting at the Diner, it's cold but let's try and see what happens" Just the words that I feared I would hear, and I thought myself an idiot for calling him.

So, I reluctantly got dressed in four layers of clothes and started up my little reluctant yellow Fiat, and headed off to meet my Dad at the Diner. I arrived and the wind was so strong I had a hard time opening up my car door. I got in the Diner to see my Dad talking to one of the waitresses. I tried my dramatic approach, and I sat next to him and while blowing my warm breath into my hands.

"Oh my God, it's horrible out there! That wind is crazy and it feels like fifteen below!" 

My Dad looked at me and said "Well so far your the only one who showed up, so maybe we'll just take the day off" I was ecstatic and I was about to get up and say goodbye to him when he offered to buy breakfast. Now, as far as I'm concerned there is nothing better than a breakfast at a Diner. To this day I sometimes stop at a Diner to have lunch and I love to order eggs over easy with sausage, and home fries!

This turned out to be a mistake. It wasn't that the eggs were bad or the sausage was burnt, nope....it was because as my plate of happiness arrived in front of me.....Uncle Paul came waltzing in! He sat down on the opposite side next to my Dad, and he tried the same dramatic intro that I had. My Dad offered him breakfast also, and it seemed his spirits had picked up a few notches.

The Best Breakfast!!

As we were eating he asked the two of us if we would go to this one job and work on the fireplace. He justified this suggestion because on this housing development the fireplaces were built inside the garage.

"You could bring the material inside and mix it in the garage. At least you won't be in the cold" My happy level went from a ten to about a one and a half. I should have left when I had a chance! My Dad took notice that both of us weren't too keen on this idea, so he offered that if we went in and got the fireplace above the ceiling rafters we could go home early, and he would pay us for the whole day. I was still not happy, but Uncle Paul accepted and he trumped me.

We were off in the snow and wind to the freezing wasteland of this housing development. We broke into the frozen top of the sand pile, and wheelbarrow-ed the needed materials into the two car garage. I got my tools and Uncle Paul mixed the cement. Even though we were inside, the new home was unheated and it was still COLD! 

We worked for about four hours in this freezing cold garage, and I had the block work up past the ceiling rafters. I asked my Uncle that since we had a full batch of cement, why don't we just stay another hour or two and get it to the roof. He reluctantly agreed, but he told me to hurry because he was loosing feeling in his toes and fingers. So I put myself into high gear and looked straight ahead and went to work.

I could hear my Uncle Paul moving things around below me. If I stopped and looked between the joists, I could see him, but I didn't want to waste any time, so I forged ahead. Then I noticed that he was gone, because I didn't hear any movement or his complaints of him having to get his toes cut off. I continued on, because I too was freezing, and I wanted to go home.

I smelled gasoline............

"Uncle Paul, do you smell gas too?" He said something, but I couldn't make it out because I was trying to move myself around to see what he was up to. As I looked down, I saw he had a metal cement tub on the garage floor, filled with scrap wood from the jobsite. He lit a match and threw it in the tub. WHOOSH!!... the flames almost hit the ceiling rafters! I shook my head in disbelief of how crazy my Uncle was....chuckeled to myself, and turned around to go back to work.

I wasn't going to complain or give him a hard time for this because I was now swimming in warmth! and it felt GOOD! The fire was going for about fifteen minutes, and now Uncle Paul came up into the attic area of the garage where I was because that's where it was the warmest. He was pushing me to finish up and I kind of agreed because the weather outside was starting to get even worse, and the snow was accumulating pretty fast. I don't know how I did it, but I was now going even faster, must have been the heat.

We were talking about his new Buick that he had just purchased when all of a sudden there was an

Okay, it wasn't this big....but almost!

explosion...KA BOOM!!!!! We were being hit with flying debris from every direction!!! Again, when things like this happen, somehow they happen in slow motion. It seemed we were being battered by this debris forever! I was shocked and had no idea of what happened. Then all was quiet. We scrambled to the ladder to see what had happened and what we saw was a hole in the middle of the concrete garage floor! It was where my Uncle had put the metal cement tub. This hole was massive.....it was about five feet wide, and about a foot deep. We looked at each other and we laughed, I guess because we were relieved that we weren't killed or we didn't burn the house down. We examined the hole and figured that because the concrete was cold and the air below it was cold, the heat from the fire expanded the air below the floor to a point that it had nowhere to go but through the concrete!

I again uttered those now famous words.......

"Oh my God Uncle Paul, my fathers gonna kill you!"

My Dad took the news surprisingly well, and we learned our lesson about building a fire on top of concrete.

TIP OF THE DAY:

Lets Build A Simple Fire Pit....that doesn't explode!

• Choose a location for your fire pit that isn’t close to trees, buildings or anything that could catch fire from a spark. A level location is best, but the design can accommodate a slight slope as well. Be sure there aren’t any underground wires, cable or pipes in your chosen location. Call 811 before you dig!!! Also, check with your city hall about fire pit ordinances in your community you may be prohibited by law from having an in-ground pit.

• Drive a stake into the ground where you want to put the fire pit. Tie a piece of string to the stake and cut it at half the distance of the diameter (radius) of your intended pit size away from the stake.

• Scribe a circle all around the stake and mark the line with spray paint. Remove the grass inside the circle and dig out the hole to a depth of about 1 foot (keep the sides as straight as possible).

• Pour in about 4 inches of pea gravel. If your fire pit is on a slope you can level the bottom out by adding more pea gravel to one side. The pea gravel will help the fire pit drain. Use the level to help you.

• Add about 3 inches of sand on top of the pea gravel – the sand will help prevent any fire from spreading to roots under your pit.

• Place your first row of bricks inside the pit on top of the sand. They will be anywhere from 0-2 inches higher than grass level. Stack the next row of bricks on top.

• Dry stack the pavers to make it easy to replace any that might break. Don’t use adhesive to hold the pavers together; it can melt and give off fumes that could be toxic.

• Fill it with some nice wood, and enjoy.......

See you next time......from beyond.........

Part 2: The Court Case And The Jeweler

If you missed it ....The Dishonest Jeweler..... Part 1 HERE:

So to recap a bit....

I was hired by a Dishonorable, Dishonest, Despicable, and Deranged jeweler to work on his 4 million dollar home in Flemington, NJ. After I refused to do work that was out of the scope of my contract and knowing that I wouldn't be paid for it, the jeweler asked me to leave. Weeks went by and I had not received the "promised" check, so I went to see him.............He told me that he was NOT going to pay me, and he turned to pick up the phone behind the counter...."I'm calling the police"   I don't know how I stayed calm at this point, but I went almost nose to nose with him and said, "Go ahead, call the police, they'll arrest you, because you're the thief! And just to give you a heads up, I'll see you in court"

So the following day I went to see an attorney friend of mine. 

We went over all of the paper work, and lucky for me I had pictures. He explained to me that I had a good case indeed and I should pursue it wholeheartedly. He told me that I could sue him for all of the extra work, and I could even sue him for unnecessary stress, and I should also sue him for having to replace my transmission because he neglected to plow the driveway. My friend was looking for blood. I said to him that I didn't want to sue him for everything under the sun, and since there was nothing in writing about the extras, I would just look like a fool. He somewhat agreed, and then encouraged me to represent myself in court.

So it was to be....I was going to be my own lawyer!

Luckily for me, my wife is very smart and helped file the suit against the jeweler, and we both looked into the legality of our claims. I was very confident that I was going to get my money from this crook. 

Two weeks went by and I received a certified letter from the jewelers attorney. I actually thought that the jeweler somehow came to his senses and decided to pay the money that he owed me. I opened the letter with an internal grin, and much to my surprise there was a court document saying that the jeweler was COUNTER SUING ME!! I was floored by the arrogance of this man, and it just gave me a heightened sense of determination to teach this man a lesson. 

The court room!

The day came for our court date and I was ready! The weatherman called for a very rainy day, but that morning it was just a light rain, and it felt good on my face as I walked to the courthouse. My wife and I went up to the second floor of the huge marble-laden court house, and found the room in which we had to wait for the first case to be over with before we could enter. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the jeweler with his attorney.....

The attorney was a small middle aged man, who was smartly dressed. It was obvious that the jeweler had pointed me out because right after I saw the jeweler whisper something to the attorney, the attorney grabbed the jewelers arm and they made a u turn and sat on the other side of the building. That just gave me a bit more confidence, not that I needed anymore because I was fired up and I couldn't wait to get in and make a fool of this guy.

We were called in around 10 am. The Judge asked "Mr. DiTaranto, where is your attorney?" I replied "Your honor, I will be representing myself, and I'm ready to go" This got a small chuckle from someone behind me. "Are you sure Mr. DiTaranto? because this case may be complicated enough to warrant an attorney" I explained to the judge that I had all the necessary evidence and paper work to proceed with the case. He smiled at me and said "Well then, let's begin! Mr. DiTaranto....state your case"

I was on fire and didn't miss a beat. I presented most of my evidence to the court. I explained that he kept making changes to the plans without confirming any compensation for these changes, and that the required space for the fireplace was in question, and it turned out to be wrong as per the architects letter that I presented......in which I repaired, again without any written confirmation of compensation. I told the court that he insisted that I do the work of his Architect, and his Framer, and his Roofer. I submitted pictures of the roof rafters, and the window that was too close. I also submitted pictures of the fireplace before I changed it to a herringbone design, and then another picture of the fireplace with the herringbone firebox. 

Not me.....

The Judge was impressed with the work, and made a statement "Nice work Mr. DiTaranto, maybe I'll give you a call sometime" He laughed, the bailiff laughed, I laughed, and most of the people sitting behind us laughed...the jeweler didn't laugh. I was finished and sat next to my wife with my chest out and my head held high, because I knew that I killed this thing. I felt like Perry Mason! I was totally confident that no matter what they came back with, they couldn't take anything away from my testimony.

That's when the lies and the drama began!

The attorney gets up and walks in front of me with a picture of the fireplace that I had built. "So, Mr. DiTaranto,.....so this is what you call GOOD work?! If you had done this for me I would have fired you also!" He ran over to the judge and handed the picture to him. 

"Your Honor, I'm sure that Mr. DiTaranto didn't or wouldn't show you THIS picture of his work! Look how sloppy the work is, there are cement stains all over the brick! My client, the jeweler has had nightmares about how he was going to live with this mans sloppy work!" He slowly walked back in front of where I was sitting and asked me 

"Didn't you realize that you were working on a multimillion dollar home, and your work was far less than acceptable?! I'm sure you understand that the jeweler just couldn't have you finish up there with THAT kind of sloppy work...WELL??!!" 

I looked him straight in the eyes, as he didn't intimidate me like he believed he would, and replied.

"Well Mr. Attorney (not his real name) I wasn't given the chance to finish the job, and that is not a finished product. You see, when the fireplace is completed, we wash it down with a light acid wash, which washes off any cement that may have fallen on the brick, and the finished product, which that isn't, would be beautiful!" 

He shook his head in disgust, and walked back to his table to pick up a piece of paper. " Your Honor, this man, Mr. DiTaranto, failed EVERY single inspection, and when he finally did pass the ONE inspection, it was party time for Mr. DiTaranto,. it was apparently such a accomplishment for this man, that he called my client to tell him that he finally passed, and demanded a check from him!...Isn't that true Mr. DiTaranto??!!" 

"No, Mr Attorney, that is 100% false! You see, I went to the township and got a printout of all the inspections that were performed on the jewelers house, and if you look under the heading of "Fireplaces" there were three inspections that were performed on said fireplace, and EVERY ONE of them passed!! And the only time that I asked him for a check was when we both agreed that I would leave his job."

Crazy attorney, drama queen!

The attorney slammed both of his hands on the table in front of me and yelled, "Mr. DiTaranto, isn't it a FACT that you built this said fireplace wrong, and you were forced, by the township to tear most of it down, and when you started again, you overbuilt it and had to take the exterior wall of the house down, therefore weakening this wall forcing my client Mr. jeweler to seek out an engineer to make sure that this wall was structurally sound??, WELL, Isn't that true Mr. DiTaranto??!!"

"No, again, Mr. Attorney, I'm not sure where your getting your "facts" from, but they're all wrong. I have the original blueprints here, and a letter from the architect stating that this space was NOT for a masonry fireplace, but a gas fireplace which requires much less room. Before I started the job I brought this to the attention of Mr. Jeweler and he told me that he was an engineer in Russia, and not to question his requests"

"Oh really?, Mr.DiTaranto, you claim to be such a great and wise contractor, and yet you rely on my clients interpretation of the codes??? I find this ridiculous!" He went back to his table, bent over and whispered something into the jewelers ear. The jeweler looked over at me and said "Why do you lie? I just wanted nice fireplace on my home. You make nightmare, and I can't even look at you!"

The attorney pulled a piece of paper out of his briefcase and claimed "Your honor, we have here a bill for the re-building of the fireplace. Mr.Jeweler just couldn't live with what this man had done, so he hired this other contractor to knock Mr. DiTaranto's horrible work and rebuild it the right way" As he went to hand the judge the paper, I broke in and said, "Your Honor, I find that very suspicious, because I was at the jobsite two days ago to pick up some of my equipment that I couldn't get to because of the snow, and my fireplace was still there and has not been touched!"

The judge asked Mr. Jeweler if that was true, and the jeweler stuttered, "Ahhh, well, I hired him to do this work. He has not started yet, but he will be there today" The Judge said that the bill was inadmissible, as was all of the pictures that they handed in. I was flying!! Then the judge looked over and said "Okay, let's break for lunch. When we come back at 1:00 we will hear closing arguments"

As we left the room, I got a few thumbs up from the people sitting behind us. My wife and I went for lunch at a local restaurant. We sat there and as I talked, she wrote down every word of the closing statement. We were so happy that our case was so strong, and we were totally confident of our success, that we hardly ate anything. As we headed back to the court house it started raining so heavy that we were completely soaked as we ran from our car to the courthouse. When we walked in the bailiff form our case was in the lobby, and offered us a towel. We gladly took it and thanked him, and he replied "you're doing a GREAT job up there!" I was so happy to hear this and asked him if he thought I would win the case.

"Without a doubt! But remember one thing...this judge never gives the whole amount, but you'll get most of your money, you can bet on that!"

We both gave our closing statements. Mine was sincere and heartfelt, his was dramatic, and pretty much all lies.

The Judge looked right at me and said "I want to tell you that I think you did a stand up job stating your case Mr. DiTaranto" And then he turned to the court clerk and said. "I have come to a decision. Mr. DiTaranto, your testimony was very good and I believe that what you said here today was the truth" I WAS GLEAMING! "The court finds in favor of you" My insides were cheering, and I looked over at my wife and we both smiled at each other in triumph.

Then the judge turned to the jeweler...."Mr. Jeweler, Your case was also strong, and I believe your testimony, so the court also finds in favor of you"...?????WTF????????? I heard gasps coming from behind me. I looked over at the bailiff, and he was also in shock, and looked at me and shrugged his shoulders in disbelief.

I was stunned and about to collapse on the floor, and the judge asked me "Do you understand, Mr. DiTaranto?" I'm sure that I resembled a deer in the night road staring at oncoming headlights, and I uttered, "Yes, I think I do..." 

The judge then explained what was going on, " you sued Mr. Jeweler for $6,500, and he won the counter suit which is $9,800.00, so you owe Mr. Jeweler $3,300.00. Do you understand?" In shock even more, I replied, "Well not really, but if you think that's fair then what can I say about that?" The judge hit his gavel on his bench "Case closed....bring in the next case"

As we walked out, the people behind us were saying things like "somethings wrong here" and "no way that liar won"....I agreed. The jeweler and his attorney were right behind me and the jeweler leaned over and whispered in my ear.."I told you, not to sue me....now you owe me money" he laughed. I turned around, and stopped him and said "Try to collect it, there was some really funny shit going on here, and you can bet that this isn't over". 

It took six appellate lawyers before I finally got one who was honest or brave enough to take the case, as he saw that there was definitely something fishy going on. We were thinking that the Jeweler must have had lunch with the Judge and maybe gave him a watch for his wife, or told him to come into the store anytime and pick something out. But there is NO WAY that two people can "win". 

Nice Roman coins found on  the Shores of Italy!
nudge nudge..wink wink (hint)

We won the appeal, but I paid for the lawyer and I never got a dime from that Crook, as "his company" had gone bankrupt again, but he is living comfortably in his mansion on the hill.....with MY brickwork looking him in the eyes when he comes down his winding stairs. 

Any time I get a chance I tell people to avoid doing business with him, because he's a thief! There is a hint in this picture....if you really want to know who this crook is! 

See you next time......from beyond.........